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Five Pointed Fathead (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Five Pointed Fathead (June 22, 2018) Synopsis - Patrick becomes Starfishman to defeat the Dreaded Patrick, who has found his way out of the comic book. Characters Patrick Star - “Starfishman” The Dreaded Patrick Squidward Tentacles Spongebob Squarepants - “Mermaid Sponge” Gary The Snail Doodlebob Margie Star Dreaded Patrick's minions Mrs.Puff (cameo) Sheldon J. Plankton The Story The story begins inside Patrick's rock. He finishes admiring himself with his pocket mirror. PATRICK: What a pretty starfish! Um? Who is he again? Patrick then shrugs, puts the mirror back into his pocket and sits down on his green chair. He is about to catch some Z's, until he stumbles upon his magic wishing shell. PATRICK: Oh! The Magic Wishing Shell! I haven’t played with you since we defeated the robot menace from the Chum Bucket! Wow… it's been that long? Anyways, Magic Wishing Shell… Oh snap! The magic word! “Okay!” Patrick breathes a sigh of relief and then continues. PATRICK: Now, can you unspoil that glass of milk that has been sitting on my night shelf for two weeks? Patrick shakes the shell. A shot of this milk glass is shown. It goes from yellow slush with flies hovering above it, to a regular white dairy product again. PATRICK: Yay! Now here is my next wish! Can I remember what the old magic word was? Patrick shakes his shell again. The answer comes to mind. PATRICK: Alakazam holla bolla we start a katana push bar griddle Vince Vaughn vida schnauzer. Patrick pumps his fist in the air as a sign of success. PATRICK: Stupidly Superb! Now, my final wish! I want a comic, that is so intense, charming & engaging, it comes to life! Oh boy that would be cool! Patrick shakes the shell. He then wraps a blanket around himself and falls asleep on his chair. In another room of his rock, under his actual bed, lies a comic book, from 2006, open to a page labeled “DP.” It glows. The next morning arrives. Patrick yawns awake and busts his alarm clock like every morning. After brushing his shorts & putting on his teeth, he makes himself an egg salad sandwich. He eats it and then cleans cobwebs left over by apparent sea spiders. After polishing his action figures & gulping down a kelp soda from his refrigerator, he takes a seat on his chair and reads the newspaper. As he did all of this, shots of his rock are shown, in huge disarray, several “DP” graffiti, destroyed furnishings & a sign that says “5 Pointed Loser!” Patrick reads a newspaper headline. PATRICK: “An evil starfish terrorizes the once tranquil city of Bikini Bottom, in an effort to turn it into his villainous empire.” Patrick remains confused. Until it hits him. He rushes to his bedroom, and frantically grabs his 2006 comic from under the bed. He opens the pages and finds every content inside… All but one… notorious supervillain & the books’ intense, charming & engaging antagonist, The Dreaded Patrick, is missing. PATRICK: Oh fish paste! Patrick then hears an explosion outside. He runs out to find The Dreaded Patrick had blown up a boatmobile. The fiend looks at the shocked Patrick. DREADED PATRICK: Ha! Ha! Ha! Take that you lightheaded lightweight! I blew up a boatmobile and now you will get the blame since you look just like me! The Dreaded Patrick gets out a magic marker, draws his sinister looking eyebrows on Patrick's face, & runs off with an evil cackle. Squidward rushes out of his house and shockingly looks at his boatmobile being consumed by flames. He then looks at Patrick. SQUIDWARD: Patrick! Why did you blow up my boatmobile?! You stupid idiot! PATRICK: But it wasn’t me! SQUIDWARD: Oh yeah?! Why are there gas cans around your rock then?! Patrick looks to see these. The Dreaded Patrick's cackle is heard once more. SQUIDWARD: You better pay for these expenses! Or you will pay yourself! Squidward storms off back inside. The fire also puts itself out once it should be realized that these characters live underwater. Patrick has realized what he just done, now remembering his Magic Wishing Shell wish. PATRICK: I need some help. Spongebob is dressed as Mermaid Man at his pineapple. SPONGEBOB: Never fear Starfishman! Mermaid Sponge is here to serve! Patrick has transformed into his Starfishman attire from the 2006 video game, “Creature From The Krusty Krab.” STARFISHMAN: Excellent my young ward! Now, I must correct a horrible wish I have made, by defeating the Dreaded Patrick & restoring order to our fine city! Now! No more shenanigans! We got us a city to save! Vamoose! Patrick tries to fly but falls right through Spongebob's coffee table. STARFISHMAN: Or we could walk.. The two superheroes walk out of the pineapple ready to defeat evil. Gary rolls his eyes thinking they look ridiculous in their outfits. He curls up and falls asleep on Spongebob's couch. Mermaid Sponge & Starfishman arrive at the intersection of Conch & Coral. Here they find several posters advertising the pink menace. MERMAID SPONGE: That fiend! He thought of everything! STARFISHMAN: Yeah! His face looks better on a piece of paper than me! Mermaid Sponge & Starfishman discuss tactics on what to do. Suddenly, they hear “Me hoy minoy.” They turn around to see a familiar face. MERMAID SPONGE: Doodlebob?! The Dreaded Patrick then appears over the horizon with a drawing pencil. DREADED PATRICK: Ha! Ha! Ha! I heard that you and your cereal box shaped loser of a friend got terrorized by a simple doodle! Now you will be busy with him. Take that you five pointed fathead! Doodlebob prepares his villainy. STARFISHMAN: Step back young ward! I will handle this kid! Doodlebob grabs Starfishman in a chokehold and throws him around like a ragdoll. MERMAID SPONGE: Starfishman! Don’t worry! I will save you! Mermaid Sponge runs off for a second and then returns with a notebook. MERMAID SPONGE: Hey doodle! Doodlebob stops beating his victim around and faces against Mermaid Sponge. DOODLEBOB: You doodle! Me Spongebob! Mermaid Sponge opens the notebook and throws it into the middle of the road. Doodlebob is sucked right back in. DOODLEBOB: Dedadadadaaaaa! Starfishman grabs a key out of his belly button and seals the notebook shut. The Dreaded Patrick gets angered. DREADED PATRICK: Oo! Drat! The fiend runs off. STARFISHMAN: After him! The two heroes run after the villain and are about to capture him. Until… MARGIE: Patrick! STARFISHMAN: Mom? DREADED PATRICK: Ha! Ha! The villain runs off. MARGIE: Hey son! Can you help me lug these groceries to my boatmobile? I’m too simple minded to do so! STARFISHMAN: But uh Mom, I’m kinda um, busy saving Bikini Bottom here. MARGIE: Patrick Starfish! STARFISHMAN: Yes, Mom. After Starfishman helps his mother with her chore, he & Mermaid Sponge continue tracking the Dreaded Patrick. STARFISHMAN: Now according to my Starfish Senses, the Dreaded Patrick should be creating an evil army of us seastars. DREADED PATRICK: For once! You are correct! The two heroes see the Dreaded Patrick finish engineering an army of evil sea stars. DREADED PATRICK: Attack! Dreaded Patrick runs off and the heroes are left to deal with his despicable army. STARFISHMAN: Pit attack! Starfishman's jungle size armpit hair grabs & rubs the evil minions much to their disgust. A couple more minions grab Mermaid Sponge. MERMAID SPONGE: Starfishman! Help!! Starfishman struggles to think of something. He then sees Mrs.Puff walk by, with a sack. STARFISHMAN: Mrs.Puff? MRS.PUFF: AAH! Spongebob! What? Huh!!! UGGG!! Mrs.Puff puffs up and her sack drops revealing many ungraded tests. STARFISHMAN: Perfect! Starfishman grabs the tests and shows them to the minions. MINION: No! MINION 2: Tests! STARFISHMAN: Here! You could use an F! Starfishman launches the tests all over the remaining minions causing them to wither away into dust. MERMAID SPONGE: Thank you Patrick! STARFISHMAN: That is Starfishman young ward! Dreaded Patrick looks back to see his army defeated. DREADED PATRICK: Grr! Mermaid Sponge & Starfishman continue to chase after this villain, towards the Krusty Krab. Starfishman suddenly steps on someone. PLANKTON: OW!!! STARFISHMAN: Huh what now? Starfishman lifts his foot to find a smooshed and very mad Plankton. PLANKTON: Hey you conehead barnacle head! Watch where your steppin! STARFISHMAN: Hey Plankton! Do you by any chance know where my nemesis is? PLANKTON: I don’t care where your nemesis went! Now swipe me off before I become your even bigger nemesis! STARFISHMAN: Bigger? But you’re the size of a pebble! PLANKTON: I resent that statement you overweight llama! Mermaid Sponge spots the Dreaded Patrick rushing into the Krusty Krab. MERMAID SPONGE: Villain spotted Starfishman! STARFISHMAN: Well I got evil to defeat Mr.Plankton! See ya! PLANKTON: Wait! Don’t step! Starfishman steps and drags Plankton across the road until leaving him by a sidewalk. PLANKTON: Ouch The two superheroes barge right into the Krusty Krab. STARFISHMAN: You are apprehended Starfishman! Oh wait.. I’m Starfishman. DREADED PATRICK: Ha! Ha! You think you can save everyone? You can’t even remember your name! I own you peasant! I own this whole city! Once you and your cheese block friend are eliminated, I will then own the world! MERMAID SPONGE: You monstrous fiend! How dare you call me a cheese block?! DREADED PATRICK: Well you won’t find out! As I am going to vaporize you and Starfishman with my lasers! Dreaded Patrick reaches into his pocket and pulls out a half eaten chocolate bar. DREADED PATRICK: Aha! Wait what?! STARFISHMAN: That is a Hershey's chocolate bar. DREADED PATRICK: Wow! Thank you Captain Obvious! The Dreaded Patrick reaches into his pocket again and this time pulls out the lasers. DREADED PATRICK: There we go! MERMAID SPONGE: Noooooooooooo!!! DREADED PATRICK: Say your ABC's cheeseboy. You too Starfishman! You stupid five pointed fathead! DP prepares to set the lasers from stun to kill. Starfishman thinks he is toast. Suddenly, he gets an idea. STARFISHMAN: That's it! Five points! Okay, DP, give me your best shot! Dreaded Patrick snickers and fires a laser beam. Patrick quickly pulls out his pocket mirror from earlier and makes the beam hit it. The beam bounces to one point of the Krusty Krab, then another, then the roof, then through Squidward's collection of dance magazines in the register boat, and finally right into DP's lasers officially disarming him. The fiend is now no longer a threat. DREADED PATRICK: How?! How?!! Starfishman then gets out his comic book. He steals a bar of gold bullion out of Dreaded Patrick's pocket, per his knowledge from the 2001 comic. STARFISHMAN: Say hello to Doodlebob for me! Starfishman smothers his enemy with the comic book. Dreaded Patrick screams and struggles before being sucked back into the comic book. Like with Doodlebob's notepad, Starfishman once again locks and seals it. MERMAID SPONGE: We did it! We did it! We did it! STARFISHMAN: Yes we did young ward. Now… can we get ice cream? The scene cuts back to Squidward's house. Patrick and Spongebob, back in their regular attire, gift their grouchy neighbor the gold bullion bar, as the payment necessary for Squidward's boatmobile to be repaired. SQUIDWARD: I gotta say. The way you got this payment was pretty amazing. PATRICK: Never fear citizen! When evil strikes, good retaliates! SPONGEBOB: Uh Patrick. PATRICK: Yes, Spongebob? SPONGEBOB: That was from the 1997 comic, the catchphrase is now updated. PATRICK: Oh right um…. Wanna see my collection now Squidward?! SQUIDWARD: No, I don’t hang out with dorks. Later. Squidward goes back into his house. PATRICK: But I have a collection of modern art. Category:SquidwardTentacles35